The woman’s hands were firm, yet gentle. She plucked the twigs from my snarled hair. And then she washed it three times.
“Look,” she said, showing me the rinse water after the third shampooing. “It is clean now.”
All morning, she had lurked outside my hospital room, thwarted time and again by doctors and nurses who insisted on blood draws, breathing treatments and tests.
Finally, when the medical staff departed, she shooed my husband from the room and set to work.
Often, I flinched and moaned when her washcloth skimmed over the cactus needles still embedded in my hands, torso and legs.
“I am sorry, mija,” the woman murmured. “So sorry.”
But she wasn’t just sorry for the pain she inflicted. She was sorry that I had suffered at all. I could hear it in her voice.
Word had spread quickly through hospital hallways that the woman lost for five days and four nights in the Chihuahuan Desert was in the Telemetry Unit at the University Medical Center of El Paso.
My caregivers didn’t judge me. That first night, they kept me alive. And then over the next several days, they tended to my wounds. They marveled that I had survived.
When I walked again for the first time in five days, one of the physical therapists asked me to autograph the cane I had used.
All of these people believed that if I had been given a second chance, well … then there was hope for all.
Not everyone shared this attitude. Over the next year, even as I thanked God daily for my second chance, I learned what it is like to be second-guessed.
“But why didn’t you …?”
I get it. It’s totally human to want to second-guess others. Doing so makes us feel better, safer.
“Well, that would never happen to me because I would never…”
Yeah. Well. Until it does. Because you did.
We are none of us infallible. And most of us, most of the time, are pretty good at figuring out where we went wrong. And we accept responsibility for the consequences.
Your pointing finger does nothing but remind us of our own former smugness … and how it leads to downfall.
My arrogance almost cost me my life. Karma? She’s not just a bitch. She’s a bitch on wheels with lightning strikes etched on each spoke.
When I think of the woman who washed my hair, my body … apologizing as she did so … I marvel at her grace.
I was lost and then found. I was dirty, and then cleansed.
On this Easter, my advice to you … to me … is this:
Don’t second-guess the actions of someone who — trust me, here — already has been thoroughly humbled.
Instead, help that person appreciate and take advantage of his second chance.
After all, second chances are few. They should be celebrated. Not questioned.