I make it a practice NOT to tell Hubs when I’m getting my hair cut and colored.

Why?

Because this is a man who goes to the barber for a $9-haircut. Because the first time he found out what women will pay for what we call “maintenance” Hubs swooned.

Because it is better to just present him with the finished project — a blonder wife.

Yesterday, I headed to the salon for a little … rejuvenation.

Confession: My last haircut was sometime last spring. My root stripe went halfway down my head.

In other words, it was time.

So I headed to Vogue Salon (a shoutout to Courtney for reviving my limp-ass hair), where I happily chatted and gossiped as Courtney applied highlights and lowlights.

Suddenly, she paused, then said, “Well, hi! How are you doing?”

I looked at the door, expecting to see another customer.

But there stood Hubs — grinning maniacally.

And there I sat, with my head dotted with foil-wrapped chunks of hair.

“So,” Hubs said conversationally, peering at the tray of blue and brown blobs. “You’re going with … blue?”

“New look,” I said, even as Courtney explained, “Highlights.”

Mind you, “highlights” to my husband mean … well … something involving an inadequate bra and a wet T-shirt.

Oh. Wait. That would be “headlights.”

Anyway.

Apparently, Hubs stopped to fill up at a gas station near the salon. While pumping gas, he noticed what appeared to be my vehicle parked outside of the salon. Mind you, I had carefully scheduled this appointment during the lunch hour, so as to explain my absence if he turned up in the newsroom.

But oh no — Hubs just had to fill up at a gas station he normally avoids.

I’ll let Hubs explain what happened next.

Ohhhh, he thought, upon noticing my vehicle. There’s Cathy’s car. She’s getting her hair done. She didn’t tell me.

Apparently, Hubs had just driven by his barber, hoping to get a trim. Turns out, his barber has closed up shop. For good. So poor Hubs, who is a creature of habit, was feeling a little … shaken.

And after seeing my car at the salon, the temptation was just too great.

He parked, wandered into the salon and immediately noticed the foil glinting upon my head.

Ohhh, Hubs thought. So she’s not only getting it cut. She’s getting the highlight treatment. And here I am upset because my barber and my $9 haircut are … *sob* gone.

But look!

My hair is once again shiny and blonde. Without the stripe!

And look! I offer a fun photo for comparison: