New-baby hospital photos: Everyone looks great but you

So our sweet new mama Kristin finally offered up a hospital photo in which we could see her too, not just the baby. She explained that it was the only one in which she looked presentable.

Note that what little we can see of her face is both pretty radiant. I don't know why she's complaining.

Just for her, I’m going to share a few of my own hospital photos. But first, for the uninitiated, let me explain here and now that the only people who feel like they look good in such photos are the daddies, grandparents and other family members. You, the mother, on the other hand, will generally look like hell.

Exhibit 1. One of us is happy! Excited! Thrilled! The other is trying to smile through a contraction.

Exhibit 2. The birth. No one looks attractive while pushing.

This is Suzanne, my doula, after helping me through a long, hard day of labor. She looks fabulous, no? As for me ... I looked stoned.

Our first family-of-four portrait. I still look wretched. The day after. And Tootie? Well, let's just say she wasn't initially enthused about her new little brother.

Even after you get home, it'll be awhile before you're proud of your appearance again. Note the yoga pants/decorative flip-flop combo. But look! My toenails are polished! Progress, baby.

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