Arkie Mama: Perfect Linda strikes again

First, the background:

My mother-in-law — known by all as Mammaw — passed away last February. This will be the family’s first Christmas without her. At the time of her death, Mammaw had three sons, 11 grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.

Three three sons, from eldest to youngest, are Hubs, Steve and Burt.

Steve married Perfect Linda three years after Hubs’ and my wedding. Steve brought four adult children to the marriage; Linda has two adult daughters and a 15-year-old son.

Steve’s sons are the ones who gave Mammaw here great-grandchildren.

Still with me?

OK, so when Steve’s kids started having babies, Perfect Linda went by “Granny.” She doesn’t look like a granny, but to each their own.

Hubs and I took the kids down to his dad’s house this weekend. My father-in-law goes by “Papaw,” which I always thought went well with “Mammaw.”

Saturday afternoon, Steve and Perfect Linda came over with Steve’s oldest grandchild, Seth, age 2 1/2.

And suddenly, Perfect Linda went from Granny to Mammaw.

My brother-in-law referred to her as Mammaw throughout the whole visit. “Go ask your Mammaw,” he would say, prompting all of us to swivel our necks in anticipation of seeing the REAL Mammaw, who, of course, is no longer with us.

This is Mammaw, matriarch of the family.

The Real Mammaw

The Real Mammaw

Now granted, I have issues with Perfect Linda. (She’s moody and has no sense of humor. Plus, she won’t allow my brother-in-law to have anything to do with his family. Yeah, I know. He doesn’t have to obey. But he does. Point is, she doesn’t like us.)

So to hear Steve refer to Linda as Mammaw struck me as inappropriate and galling. Not to mention, confusing to the youngest grandchildren and the great-grandchildren. I mean, Mammaw was Mammaw. Perfect Linda is NOT Mammaw.

I’d be interested in hearing your opinions, however, since Hubs plans to talk to his brother about Perfect Linda’s bizarre metamorphosis from Granny to Mammaw.

I say that given the circumstances, she should stick with Granny or pick something other than Mammaw.

I can’t figure out where the name change came from. Did she do it? Or is Steve trying to create a new Mammaw?


3 thoughts on “Arkie Mama: Perfect Linda strikes again

  1. I have relatives EXACTLY like this — this definitely sounds like a planned takeover of family power to me. (I’m not joking!) She obviously sees herself as the Queen Bee now. I would fight against the tide and refuse to support the switch, but then again, that’s just me!!!


  2. You should always refer to mammaw in the past tense around her. AND talk about the REAL mammaw and refer to her as the FAKE mammaw. “What? OH you mean FAKE mammaw” And be sure to giggle all the time when someone calls her mammaw.

    If you are loud and drink a lot, eventually it will all go away.


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