So much so, he’ll probably require years of therapy.
Last year, he warily agreed to perch on Santa’s lap only after the jolly fellow bribed him with a pocketwatch embossed with a train. In that photo, which I don’t have handy, the E-man looks decidedly guarded. But at least he’s not shrieking or sobbing.
I don’t think this year will be any better, as the little man has already asked if Santa will still bring him presents even if he doesn’t sit on the old elf’s lap. The E-man also wants to know why Santa can’t just leave the presents on the doorstep, like the UPS man does.
Most parents tell their children that Santa won’t visit if they aren’t good. We, however, cannot use that particular threat as leverage, because the E-man would be perfectly fine if some elderly dude with a freakishly long beard and poor fashion sense weren’t trying to cram himself down the chimney of our snug home.
Oh, and our yearly Christmas cards? Well, here’s an example of how those used to go, back when the E-man nurtured a special sort of hatred for button-down shirts:
Lest you think he’s chronically displeased, I offer this photo, which finally prompted my photographer husband to ask, “Why is it that I can take happy, smiling pictures of everyone’s kids but my own?”