Arkie Mama: Perfect Linda


OK, so you see the guy, dead center, wearing the blue shirt? I’m to the right. And to the left is Perfect Linda, my brother-in-law’s wife.

Perfect Linda is always perfectly slender, perfectly dressed, perfectly accessorized, perfectly manicured and pedicured and just freaking perfectly perfect all the way around.

Every Easter, she cooks a massive dinner and smiles modestly when people rave about her prowess in the kitchen.

And before my mother-in-law passed away, Linda always arrived for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners with a half-dozen perfectly lovely side items and perfectly decadent desserts. If, that is, she wasn’t hosting Thanksgiving or Christmas at her own house. In that case, there would also be a perfectly roasted turkey and/or a perfectly succulent ham.

This year will mark our first Thanksgiving without Hubs’ mom. Which means Perfect Linda and I will be the primary dinner contributors.

Which means I stand to lose face.

For the past five years, I have attended family dinners and huddled in the mighty shadow of Perfect Linda. Oh sure, I get compliments for my dishes. But not raves.

This year, I am declaring war. I will earn raves. I WILL!! Perfect Linda’s kitchen reign must end. No, not “reign.”

TYRANNY! That’s what this is. She must be defeated. And I want to be the one to tarnish that crown. Or at least ding it up a little.

But I need your help. (Just realized I’m now quoting Dora. Sorry.) I need easy recipes that taste deceptively complicated. I need dishes that are simple to make yet are dazzling to the eye.

help {whimper}

5 thoughts on “Arkie Mama: Perfect Linda

  1. Well, these are going to have to be amazing recipes because they didn’t fall for the fabulous Paula Deen banana pudding! I’ll think on it. You can always make my chicken and dressing but that takes two days!


  2. I understand your quest completely, given that my husband’s family has “perfect cousins.” I say go for something with bacon … who could resist that? Last year I did brussels sprouts with bacon and pecans for Thanksgiving, and it was pretty dang yummy.


  3. I make a homemade peanut butter cluster candy in the microwave that always gets raves when I bring it up to the office. Of course, it is free food when I bring it to the office.


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