Arkie Mama: I have no shame

The glorious thing about hurtling toward 40 is the near-total loss of inhibition.

In the past seven years, I’ve birthed two babies, which means a whole army of people have seen way more of the  ladybits than I ever have or will. I’ve nursed in malls, on planes and in front of fellow reporters. I’ve pumped in parking lots, bathrooms and, on one occasion, in the backseat of a car driven by a male photographer who was trying to navigate the streets of post-Katrina New Orleans.

Even better, my new carefree attitude has carried over to the gym. Nothing embarrasses me anymore. Which is why I eagerly bounced a few weeks ago into a Zumba class.

Zumba, for those of you who haven’t heard of it, is basically a class in which you dance to Latin music. I love it!

Bear in mind, I am not a coordinated person. I’m the woman who once gouged her eye with her OWN FINGER during a step aerobics class. (I had to go to the doctor for that one.) I can pick up a rhythm just fine, but until I get the moves or steps down, there’s usually quite a bit of  … well, flailing.

I present Exhibit A, taken at a wedding reception:

I'm the one with the arms flung back.

I'm the one with the arms flung back.

In my 20s, I refused to try a lot of things for fear of possible humiliation.

Now? It takes a lot to embarrass me. I didn’t even blush when, while writing a check at a restaurant, I opened my wallet to show my ID only to find a tampon stuck inside. (The young male clerk, on the other hand, became quite flustered.)

Really, the only humiliating moments I can think of in recent years involve my children doing something either horribly inappropriate (4-year-old son mooning his older sister’s after-school class) or disgusting (sticking noses and grubby fingers into candy jars at the hoity-toity grocery store).

But that’s OK. Because the older I get, the less inhibited I’ll become. And by the time they’re teenagers, I figure I’ll be going through a second adolescence.

Which will totally embarrass them. Especially when I volunteer to be a prom chaperone and hit the dance floor. I’ll use my Zumba experience to wow the senior class.

Just play me a salsa, baby!

3 thoughts on “Arkie Mama: I have no shame

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