Arkie Mama: Baby got no back

I figured I’d riff on Moody Mom’s post, since I completely understand her shopping-for-small-children predictment.

My little E-man didn’t arrive in supersize condition. (6 pounds 12 ounces). Of course, compared to my first baby (5 pounds 9 ounces), I thought he was huge.

For about the first month.

My baby, now 4, is still small for his age. Further complicating things is that the child has no butt to speak of, nothing that might hold up his jeans or shorts. The E-man once greeted my husband at daycare pickup with khakis around his ankles.

“I can’t believe you sent him out in public in these things,” Hubs grumbled. “They fall right off of him.”

Problem is, he’s also tall, which means if I buy a size 3 in pants, he resembles Duckie from Pretty in Pink. (Remember those hi-waters?)

Which is why I depend on pants with adjustable waists. When I first stumbled across such a pair in Old Navy, I near wept with gratitude.

Exactly why the boy has no butt is beyond me.

Exhibit A:

Note the pants' descent

Note the pants' descent

I mean, he inherited my eyes, my hair, my smile. But somehow he dodged my big-butt genetic input. There is simply nothing there.

I, on the other hand, am very aware of my own butt since Hubs insists on capturing it in any number of photographs with alarming frequency.

He does this to torment me

He does this to torment me

Look to the upper right of this photo

Look to the upper right of this photo

I know he does this on purpose.

I know he does this on purpose.

Good thing that pregnancy and childbirth left me with no shame.

One thought on “Arkie Mama: Baby got no back

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