Guess who thinks he’s getting lucky?

Guess who wants nothing more than a glass of wine, a good book and some solitary veg-out time on the couch?

Guess who’s an hour away from making that first move?

Guess who’s wearing a ripped lavender T-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts with palm trees on them? (stunning ensemble, I know)

Guess who doesn’t care that his wife looks … well, frumpy.

I’ll close with a paragraph from one of my favorite southern author/columnists, Susan Reinhardt:

“Most of us wives love our mates, but frankly are in the Humpty-Dumpty mood far less than they. It’s human and animal nature. Sorry. It just is. Ever see a lioness run? See the does dash? Hear the girl birds screech? See a female human pretend to be asleep or having her second period in as many weeks?

But just how often are we ladies saying those dreaded words “Not tonight, hon, I’m feeling a little tired,” and thinking that which we dare not vocalize? And probably not tomorrow night either, sugarplum.”

— Excerpt from Not tonight, Honey. Wait ’til I’m a size 6.